WARNING – I’M GOING TO BE AS TACTFUL AS I CAN BUT EXTREMELY HONEST ABOUT BEING MARRIED.  STOP NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ IT.

I was trying to fix my husband’s phone last night and inadvertently saw what he had been viewing online with his phone.  We’ve been married almost 19 years and he is still addicted to this crap… I am so not happy with him right now!

When I am truly upset my face, neck and upper chest (basically all the skin you can see above a the neckline on a normal shirt) turns really bright red in a very unattractive blotchy pattern.  It even scares me when I see myself in the mirror like that and until last night I hadn’t been that angry in a long time.

And yet the anger gave me the strength I needed to be calm and still forceful.  I insisted that he goes to counseling.  I also gave him a choice.

1)  I move into the guest bedroom for 2 months to give him time to decide what’s most important to him and live accordingly.
2)  I will continue to sleep in bed with him but there will be no benefits for 2 months AND I will attend a different church, of my choosing during that time.

I also said that Valentine’s Day was postponed until after the 2 months were up.  There is no way I can stomach any kind of sappy card from him and I don’t want to go on any dates with him for a while either.  He was dumbfounded and unable to choose right away so I gave him until tomorrow (Friday) night to decide.  If my going to church with him is more important than sharing a bedroom that will tell me a lot.

This is the beginning of the end.  Only God can rescue our marriage now… I have no doubt that He can, I’m just not sure I want Him to.

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