Okie dokie…  Today is Sunday night.  Last Wednesday night my husband and I had our “little talk”.  I expressed in the firmest terms that I know he is addicted and I am very upset that he has not managed to gain control of it in these last 18+ years of our marriage.  I was soooooo angry – it gave me strength I didn’t know I had to stand up to him like I should have a long time ago.  I offered him a choice – in addition to mandatory counseling I said that EITHER I move out of our bedroom for two months while he works on his problem OR we continue to share the bedroom – but no benefits for him for two months – and I attend a different church.  I thought the terms were more than fair as I originally wanted to cut him off and live in the spare room for six months.  I felt I was being more than reasonable by insisting on only two months.

The first night we talked about it (Wednesday) he was all “I know I deserve this, I’m so sorry…” I felt like we both understood that I was the one wronged, therefore I made the rules and set the consequences and he didn’t fight me on that.  He didn’t like either choice but was thinking on which one to choose and I gave him until Friday night to make a decision.

Thursday night we talked again and I realized while he had truly heard my issues and was finally taking me seriously that somehow I had lost control of the consequences.  All of a sudden I’m NOT moving into the guest bedroom, I am NOT attending a different church AND benefits will be shared once a week during the two months – seriously, what just happened here?  It’s enough to make a girl want to swear… <bad words, bad words, bad words>

The good news is that for all of Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday (today) he has been treating me like a princess.  Without my asking he has been opening car and building doors for me, hugging me often while carefully avoiding touching my boobs, rubbing my back without asking for anything further, giving me compliments and being very deferential to my preferences…

It’s what I’ve always wanted, heck, I think it’s what every girl wants but I’m kind of holding my breath to see how long it lasts – bets anyone?  At least I’m pretty sure that he understands how much he will lose if he screws this up.  Also, the consequences of my moving into the guest room, attending another church and withdrawing benefits completely are still available.  I think I just have to get angry enough to enforce them.

I have found a church not too far away that has services at 5 pm on Sundays so I’m going to try it out next week and it sounds like one of my friends will go with me.  Even if I can’t go to a different church Sunday mornings I think that going to a different church for a Saturday or Sunday evening service would probably do me good.  Meet some new people, experience different worship music and see what another church’s atmosphere and leadership are like.

If he can really pull this off, if he can quit his addiction and become a nice guy… permenantly… then we have a chance.

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