So there’s a man in my life now that I’m not sure what to think about.  He’s actually one of my bosses, the one I call Todd here, and we work together six days a week.  Todd is lots of fun and very easy to be around and every once in a while I think he might like me in a romantic sort of way but most of the time I’m positive there is nothing there… until I start adding up all the little things I’ve noticed.  For my part I’m honestly hoping I’m wrong, I’m not anywhere near ready to be in a romantic relationship and probably won’t be for a very looooooong time.

Here’s some of the dots I’m connecting and I’d really love some feedback on this one – am I just seeing things out of nervousness, is it just the Vietnamese culture that I’m misinterpreting or could there possibly be something trying to start here?

Talking to the customers about anything and everything is a big part of my job as a Nail Tech and Todd has a great memory, several times, to me and to others, He has referenced things I’ve told customers, often it’s a piece of information that I’ve only said once and it usually surprises me that he remembered it and/or paid close enough attention to what I say to even have heard it.

Todd, his brother and sister are three out of the four owners of the salon I work at and we go out to dinner frequently.  I feel so blessed that they include me because it stops me from being home alone and the three of them really make me feel like I’m a part of their family.  I’ve even had them over to my house for dinner a few times and while somehow I’m no longer the good cook I used to be they are gracious and eat it while telling me it’s very tasty, lol.  The first time I had them over I told Todd that I needed the BBQ put together before we could use it and he said he would do it.  (It was a $40 cheapy charoal BBQ from WalMart.) Normally his brother puts everything together but when Todd got to my house he immediately started working on the BBQ – although his brother jumped right in and took over – but it was clear that Todd intended to put the BBQ together for me and that his brother’s taking over frustrated him a bit.

Tonight at dinner Todd ordered an appetizer that is one of my favorites, something I had only mentioned once weeks ago at a different resturant.  He then asked me what I wanted to eat and then when the waiter came, placed my order for me after first making sure it wasn’t spicy.  (I am a total baby when it comes to spice…)  I’ve never had a man place my order for me before, that was very interesting.  When the appetizer came he only ate one.

My sister made a joke that Todd’s brother was going to start setting me up on dates so that he wouldn’t have to be the one to keep fixing my house (Todd is good with electronics and techology, his brother is the handyman).  I told Todd what she said and he didn’t laugh at all like I expected him to, he just looked at my face and said “Too soon, huh?”  Not only is he rarely so serious, I’ve never had anyone read me like that.  He was dead-on and I didn’t even realize it until he said it.

A customer thought I was saying “Thank you honey” to Todd’s brother and asked if he was my husband/boyfriend.  I told Todd thinking he would find that hillarious but his reaction was actually the opposite.  He looked upset and it felt like he shut down for the rest of the day.  The first thing that came to mind was that it would have been funny to anybody except the person who wished I was calling them honey… yes? His brother, by the way, is somebody I absolutely adore but have no romantic interest in whatsoever and he has no romantic interest in me either.  When I told Todd’s brother what the customer said he roared with laughter and now loves to tell people about it as if it were the best joke ever.

Todd will do and say things while we work on customers side-by-side just to get my reaction, it feels like he is always keeping an eye on me and watching for me to smile or laugh and I get the impression that he’s more interested in getting me to laugh than the customers.

Todd has asked me to go to Vietnam with him.  It was kind of a general “someday” type of request but the way he said it was very specific – did I want to go to Vietnam with him, not him and his family…  That’d be a heck of a first date!

Tonight at dinner his brother and sister kept talking to each other in Vietnamese and then looking at me while Todd very studiously stared at his phone and wouldn’t look at either me or them.  His brother would stare at me but looked away with a funny little smile when I turned to look at him, it was a little strange.

One day I brought a little baggie of Chia Seeds to the salon with me to put in my yogurt.  The next day a giant, barely used Costco bag of Chia Seeds shows up at work.  He brought them from his home for me because “nobody was using them”.  Those little suckers are expensive!

He frequently comes and sits at my nail station to just hang out when we’re not busy.  He’ll be on his phone playing a game or texting, whatever, so I pull out my phone and find ways to look busy because I don’t want to just sit and stare at him.  Eventually he gets up and goes elsewhere but he seems to like to be nearby where I am.

There’s more but these are the things I can think of right now, at 1:45 am, ha, ha.  It’s probably just me being paranoid because I’m afraid of losing the friendship with his family group for any reason but especially if he does like me and I can’t like him back.  Besides me recovering from an almost 21 year marriage, he’s about 10 years younger than I am… and a Buddist… and he talks to customers about getting married and having kids after the salon grows more successful…

Right now I’m really hoping that he’s just a fabulously nice guy who sees me as a sister and that all these little things I’m noticing are part of being Vietnamese.  On my end, a successful romantic relationship with anybody is going to take a miracle and I’d rather see him happy with a young little Vietnamese girl who can give him little Vietnamese babies than trying to struggle through my baggage.

But it’s the little things that make me go “Hmmm…”