Well, I had my birthday last month and I have to say that I actually feel younger!  Since January when I left my old life I’ve lost 30 pounds, I’ve been sleeping better, I’ve gotten a wonderful job, have my own place to live and am making a new life with my younger daughter – we are healing together.  My customers at work frequently say that I don’t look old enough to have an 18 year old and it makes me so happy, just one more confirmation that I am flourishing where I’m at.

The high school near my work denied our request to let Tina restart her senior year there so she will be finishing her high school education online and getting her diploma that way.  Now we’re looking for a local orchestra she can join.  I’m pleased that she will get an actual diploma rather than a GED but I’ve been told there really isn’t any difference anymore.  She’s gotten a job at a local business where people can bring their dogs to wash them and absolutely loves it, I’m just super happy that she can bring her puppy to work with her.  We’ve gone back and forth about re-homing her puppy because we just don’t have the time to take care of him and he gets left at home, locked in the laundry room all the time but with this job she can take him to work with her so he gets more socialization, a little bit of training and free dog washes, yay!  At home we are figuring out how to keep everything neat and tidy together and how to balance the fact that I’m still the Mom but she is 18.  At the moment my big rule is that she needs to be home by midnight but she can have friends here to watch movies or whatever.  We’re planning on having parties with lots of teenagers and food, I’m so excited!

Her father, my ex, has been reaching out to her and I’ve been encouraging her to reach back – so far it seems to be better than she expected although he keeps asking her what her opinion is on the last letter I sent him and what she thinks of the divorce… she’s a smart girl and keeps telling him she doesn’t want to get involved and that our divorce is between us.  I’m so proud of her!  He also told her that he doesn’t want anything to do with the person I’ve become which both of us thought was interesting – he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me now that I refuse to be his doormat anymore?  Now that I’m able to stand up for myself and expect to be treated with kindness and dignity?  Too funny!  I wish him a long and happy life as long as he has it somewhere away from me.

My job is going well, I still love working there and adore my bosses – in the most amazing fashion we have established that we are all Very Good Friends and while we haven’t said it in so many words I think it’s understood that nobody is going to be dating each other.  It fascinates me how we can come to those kind of arrangements and it doesn’t get weird or awkward at work.  For my birthday they got me an Apple TV box and took Tina and me to the fair!  We had sooooo much fun at the fair, it was unreal.  They bought gyros and lemonade for everyone and we all played a game or two.  Then we had gigantic smoked turkey legs and made some of those art pictures where they spin the paper and you drizzle paint on it.  I had a blast and loved every minute of it – they are Very Good Friends indeed.

I had a colonoscopy the day before my birthday and let me say that “Jug Of Fun” was NOT FUN AT ALL.  That was the Worst Stuff Ever and I will do whatever it takes to never have another colonoscopy again.  Seriously.  Not sure what I was thinking with that kind of scheduling but it turned out OK and now I’m just waiting for my next doctor’s appointment to find out the results.

Sunday Tina and I leave for a road trip to see my brothers and my best friend from high school.  I’m a little nervous about seeing my brothers because it feels like they are still upset with my decision to leave my ex and want to “fix” me.  But whatever, I need them to see my face and hopefully realize that I’m healthy and I made the right choice and I need to see their faces and decide if I’m going to pursue a relationship with either of them.  I’m very excited to see my best friend from high school though, it’s been at least a year since I’ve seen her and I can’t wait!

Life is good and I am blessed 🙂

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