Goodbye

I have done a lot of thinking over the last week and I’ve decided that my previous post, saying I don’t care if you read my private thoughts, soul searching and mental processings, was just another example of me being a doormat, more proof that I haven’t completely overcome my upbringing.

It’s not healthy for me to accept being spied upon as a normal and acceptable alternative to a traditional conversation.  If you want to get to know me, TALK TO ME AND ASK ME QUESTIONS.

It’s not healthy for you to sneak around and read these things – posted publicly to strangers, it’s true – but you read them for the purpose of gathering ammunition, for furthering your hatred of me, to widen the gap between us and what you read here allows you justify having little or nothing to do with me.  Where’s your blog, your private diary?  Your church leader’s notes about your conversations?  Will you let me read them?  What?  No?  Those are private?  None of my business?  Hmmm…  You know in your heart that you shouldn’t be reading this, does it make you feel guilty or powerful?  I suspect it makes you feel good to read the things I write, knowing I didn’t realize you had found me for all these years.  And since you can’t stop reading my diary like a mature adult I’ll end it for you.  I’m done with this blog.

Thank you to the many followers I’ve gathered over the last 7 1/2 years, I never expected to have followers honestly.  I was just writing to get the words out, to try and label how I was feeling and deal with them once they were identified.  To the few who commented, even bigger thanks, the comments were all encouraging and much appreciated.  I wish you all well.